he was with me when he died. i feel fortunate for this. he died peacefully in his sleep while visiting my home for the weekend. only hours before he passed away, he and i were discussing a construction project. "BIG DAY TOMORROW" he exclaimed confidently. he was right. it was the biggest day. the toughest for me. the greatest imaginable for him. if you're wondering who i am: mark (i called him "carter") and i were best friends. we were as close as two people could be for the past 8 years, since meeting in 1999. we knew everything about each other. and loved each other anyway. what's better than that? he died knowing he was loved. i miss him more than my feeble writings can ever convey.