this is a surprise. when someone dies, the people who miss him most can be gifted with a stimulated growth of character. this type of loss pushes you to the limits of your emotional endurance. it's not that different from running: you pick a spot up ahead that's just past where you think you can reach. if you keep running, you make it. you tell yourself you have no other choice. and you focus on putting one foot in front of the other. and before you know it, you've passed that spot. and you're stronger. and thankful to your body and mind for getting you through.